The Sopranos - Family Values

Alternative Episodes: Episode 4

Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4
A Rocco DeLaurentis Jr. Presentation
In association with Aunt Meddy Entertainment
and Plippy Plorp Corporation.

"Reacquainted"
Scene 1

Night, interior. Tony Soprano is in his robe. He is leaning into his refrigerator, rummaging for a snack. It's the middle of the night and no one else is around. He stands up straight and turns around throwing a package of provolone and salami on the counter. He begins to open the package, and starts eating. He abruptly stops, and looks up. Seated directly across from where Tony is standing, in a jacket and tie with a trench coat is the late Jackie Aprile.

Jackie Aprile:
Why did you kill my son?

Cut to Tony's bedroom. He awakens violently and sits up. Breathing heavy and sweating profusely. He wipes his brow with his hand and gets out of bed. He goes into the bathroom. He turns on the light and behind him in his reflection off the mirror is Jackie Aprile.

Cut to Tony again waking up violently, sweating and breathing. He leans over and grabs a medicine bottle. He pops it open and takes a pill.

Fade out.

Scene 2

Fade in.

Geo the Mason's apartment. Night. Door opens up to apartment as Christopher and George enter. Both carrying two laundry sacks. Christopher looks around the room.

Chris:
Where we gonna count this shit out?

Geo:
Right there on the dining room table. I'll pull up the sofa next to it.

Chris: (looking at the table)
This place is a fucking pigsty, and that table is full of pizza crust and beer cans. You should get a maid.

Geo:
Yeah maybe with this score I will. (Geo cleans off the table knocking everything onto the floor and shaking out the tablecloth) Set the bag down Chris.

Both men sit on the couch and begin to pull boxes of jewelry from the laundry sacks and empty the contents on to the tablecloth.

Chris: (picks up a large diamond from the pile and examines it)
Look at the size of this one. It's as big as my left nut.

Geo: (laughing)
So what kind of money are we looking at for this score?

Chris: (pulling out more jewelry)
I know a sand nigger in Newark that will fence the stuff. If it's in good condition and doesn't have too many flaws he said he would get me 25 cents on the dollar. I'm no Jew appraiser, but we'll probably be splitting two to three hundred grand from this table.

Geo:
Nice, not bad.

Chris:
Remember what I said though. Paulie can't know about this shake down. That prick has been busting my balls and taking a lot more from me than 6 points a week. Over my dead body he sees one penny from this job, that fucking germ freak.

Geo:
Germ freak? What do you mean germ freak?

Chris:
Paulie's a germ freak. He washes his hands every two minutes with these little towelettes he carries around. He's got that...what do you call it...Obsessive Disorder Compulsion where he has to wash his hands and not touch dirty things or he freaks out. You wanna chop up some speed to get through this? It's real primo shit.

Geo:
Nah. I'll make some coffee. You go ahead though. Be my guest.

Both men continue to count out the jewels and separate them and put them into cloth bags. Christopher pulls out a small case from his jacket pocket, puts a small mirror on the table and snorts 2 lines. Geo the Mason gets up to turn on the TV and put on a pot of coffee.

Fade Out.

Scene 3

Fade in. Interior day. Melfi's office. Tony is seated.

Melfi:
So? You're quiet today. I don't like it.

Tony:
Boo-hoo.

Melfi:
If you're not gonna say anything, then leave. Don't waste my time, please. Tell me what's wrong.

Tony:
I'm seeing ghosts. I'm fucking nuts! (chuckles, lets out a sigh)

Melfi:
This is interesting.

Tony:
I'm glad you find it interesting darling. That's what I am here for, doc. I bring interest. I bring humor and comedy. Based of course, on my fucked-up childhood and lovely marriage. (he smiles sarcastically)

Melfi:
What kind of ghosts are you seeing?

Tony:
Old friends.

Melfi:
Do you talk to them?

Tony: (Smiling)
Yea, we have coffee and Lorna Doones. Sometimes we play canasta.

Melfi:
I see.

Tony:
Sometimes they talk. I talk back. Maybe it's this fucking medicine you got me on?

Melfi:
I doubt it. I think your having problems letting go. You dream up these ghosts when your napping or sleeping. Could I be right? Where these friends killed violently?

Tony: (he pauses before he answers)
Some of them.

Melfi:
You have to try and move past this Tony. Find a hobby. The longer you dwell on them, the longer your going to keep feeling the way you do.

Tony:
Sure. How are am I supposed to forget my friends, huh? It's not easy.

Melfi:
Surround yourself with your family. Immerse yourself in your sons life, your daughters life.

Tony:
Oh that's a great idea. (leaning forward) That will really put my mind at ease spending time with wonderful regular kids.

Melfi:
Right.

They stare at each other from there seats, both of them seated and easily seen from the side.

Fade out.

Scene 4

Fade in.

Interior of dentist office. Camera pans into dentist chair. Dentist is sitting next to Tony in chair. Hygienist to his right. Drilling noise as Tony lays in chair with mouth agape as dentist continues to drill his tooth, and hygienist suctions out blood and spit. Tony winces slightly from the pain.

Dr. DiGerolamo: (stops the drilling and puts suction device into Tony's mouth)
..And that should do it Tony. I got the cavity out of there. I'm going to go get the filling solution and be right back and fill that cavity. You're very lucky we didn't have to do a root canal. Cheryl can you assist me?

Tony slightly lethargic from the Novocain nods to the doctor. The doctor leaves with hygienist as Tony is staring into the bright overhead light. He looks across the room and sees a picture on the wall of his dentist holding what must be a 20 pound big mouth bass. The picture shows the doctor holding the fish up next to him pretending to give it a kiss. The camera does a close up of the picture getting even closer to the fish. Camera scans back to Tony and then the fish. Tony's memory flashes back to a boat. He is on deck of the boat entering the cabin with Paulie and Silvio. Flash forward to the 3 of them shooting Big Pussy and then dumping him into the water. The fish in the picture falls from the hook and onto the floor. Tony looks startled. The fish turns toward Tony and begins to speak to him in Pussy's voice.

Fish:
Hey Tony? What's the matter? You gotta toothache? Ask the Doc for your tooth back, put in under your pillow tonight and maybe the tooth fairy will bring you something. That's more than you did for me.

(Tony looks around the dentist office to see where the doctor has gone.)

Fish:
Tony, don't worry. We have a few minutes to talk. It takes the doc a little while to whip up that filling shit. I've seen him do it a hundred times.

Tony:
What?

(Tony is startled by his own voice and the fact that he has now begun a conversation with the Fish from the picture.)

Fish:
I'm not doing so good Tone. I mean I know you did what you had to do but why are you telling everybody that I went into Witness Protection. My wife and my sons think I left them high and dry. Couldn't you have made up a better story than that. I may have been getting info for the feds Tony, but I never gave em anything that could put you away.

Tony: (pointing at the Fish on the floor)
Puss, you got flipped, and the minute you held that wire you knew there was risk involved. Taking you out was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but you left me no choice.

Fish:
We all have to make choices Tony. Like the choice you made when you passed me over, and treated me like a 3rd rate thug like Furio. After you came back with him you treated that greaseball better than you did me, and I've known you forever.

Tony: (angrily)
Hey, it's not like I'm leaving you out in the cold here. I'm giving Angie some money every month and making sure Kevin and Matt are taken care of too. Angie can't be doing too bad if she's driving around a brand new Cadillac. And this is stuff you would still be fucking doing if you never wore that goddamn wire. So what if you were facing time. That's the risk we all take, but you never ever rat out your crew and you know that! I did what had to be done, I don't feel guilty and I don't regret it one bit.

Fish:
Hey Tony? If you don't feel guilty, then why are you talking to a Fish: from a picture?

he door opens and closes as the dentist returns. Camera scans to Tony as he slightly shakes in chair. He looks over at the picture again and sees that it is the same as it was before. The doctor comes toward Tony again with assistant in tow. Tony looks at the picture and then back to the doctor again.

Dr. DiGerolamo:
Are you all right Mr. Soprano? Are you in pain? You look as if you've seen a ghost. Cheryl, will you go get a wet wash cloth please?

Close up to picture of Fish again. Tony is staring at the picture. As camera is panning into Fish in picture, the Fish begins to smile on the hook. Fade out.

Scene 5

Night, interior. Vesuvio's. Chris and Adrianna are seated at a table having drinks and waiting for their meal.

Adrianna:
Christopher I love these diamond earrings. They go so good with my handbag...mmmmm....you're the best baby.....

(leans over to kiss)

Chris:
Ha you got lucky baby.

Adrianna:
You take such good care of me. But it is kind of boring at home. I need something to do. Maybe I'll start going back to tennis with Carm. Do you have a tennis bracelet that will go with my earrings?

(looking at her wrist smiling)

Chris:
Forget about the fucking bracelet. I'll get you something else soon. Do the tennis baby. Keep that ass lean for me and we'll go far together

Adrianna:
Mmmmmm....what are you getting me sweetheart?

Chris:
You have to earn it baby. It all depends on how hard you work later.

Adrianna:
Oooooh I know how to work. Oh I know what you could get me, maybe dresses, like the one's at the Oscars, one like Julia's or Kate Hudson's. You know shit like that. Oh God Christopher I would love that.

(grabbing his hand)

Chris:
Yeah, yeah. Listen, give me a fucking chance to make some fucking money for christsakes. As fast as I get it, it fucking goes with you. I got Paulie sucking on my tit every chance he gets. I can't get too flashy or he's gonna really start busting my balls.

Adrianna:
Okay, okay.

(Letting go of his hands and sitting back in her chair. The picks up the glass of wine and drains the last of it)
(Artie comes from the kitchen carrying two dinner plates)

Artie:
OK, Chris your Veal Saltimbocca, and for you Ade the Artichoke Risotto with Garlic herbed Lamb Shoulder.

(Artie's hand accidentally brushes Ade's shoulder as he sets the plate in front of her. He quickly looks up panicked, to see if Chris saw it. Chris is staring at Artie)

Adrianna:
Oh, thanks Artie! Looks delicious doesn't it Christopher?

Chris:
Go back to the kitchen and peel your fucking garlic.

(Chris takes the steak knife and holds it up in he air and stares at it intimidating Artie, he starts cutting his food)

Artie:
You are very welcome. I hope everything hits the spot. If you need anything else let me know, I have to go, I have some sauce going in the back (looks at Chris). Ade we sure miss you around here. We haven't found a decent hostess yet. Okay, enjoy.

(Artie quickly walks back to the kitchen, wiping his hands on his apron)

Chris:
Good. (To Ade) Fucker can go back to the kitchen where fucking belongs. Let's mangia. Then we get the fuck outta 'ere.

Adrianna:
(pouting) What, no dessert?

Chris:
I got your cannoli right here baby!

Adrianna:
Mmmmmm

(She takes her fork and runs her tongue around it. Camera pans to under the table, Ade's foot is out of her shoe and in Chris' crotch)

Fade out

Scene 6

Fade in. Interior of AJ's bedroom. He is sitting on his bed looking at his football playbook. He is thumbing through the book when Carmela enters his room carrying a laundry basket with his clothes. AJ doesn't notice her standing in the doorway.

Carmella:
Hey...Joe Namath? What are you doing?

AJ: (looking up at Carmella)
Nothin. Just lookin at the defensive assignments the coach went over today.

Carmella: (Sets the laundry basket down on his desk, enters the room and sits next to AJ)
Yeah. Your father tells me you played a good game last week. He said.how do I put this? 'He beat the other teams quarterback like he stole his playstation'.

(she laughs, but AJ doesn't)

Hey..it's just a joke. Your father was so happy when he came home that day. He was really proud of you too.

AJ: (looking uninterested)
I didn't even think I would be playing at all this year, and now the coach keeps telling me how good I am, and how good I can be, and If I keep it up, I could probably play for varsity next year if not this year..I don't really care about all that. The real reason I went out for football is because Stevie Palmero said it was a great way to meet girls.

Carmella: (getting up from the bed and ruffling AJ's hair)
Like that Bonnie girl? Yeah, well.maybe Stevie's right, but like I said, it really made your dad proud to see you play. And you should try to listen to your father before Bonnie. He was calling all his friends last night to see if any of them would go to this weeks game to see you play.

AJ:
Why is it so important to dad that I keep playing football? Would it really be that bad if I quit?

Carmella:
I know your father doesn't spend a lot of time with you honey. He's very busy these days with the company and the accidents they've been having and what not. And you two haven't always seen eye to eye on a lot of things. Football is just one way for him to get to know you and if you keep it up, he may find there are other things about you that he likes as well. But quitting at this time would not be the best thing. So please honey, at least finish out this season. Besides I'm kind of proud of you too.

(AJ stares at her for a long time without saying anything)

Carmella:
Why don't you wash up? Dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes.

AJ:
What are we having?

Carmella:
Mancotti, but I put crabmeat in the gravy. You'll like it.

AJ:
I'll be right down.

Fade Out

Scene 7

Fade In.

Interior of Bada Bing back office. Silvio, Paulie, Patsy, and Georgie are playing cards around the smoke filled room. The card table has a pile of cash on it, as well as several beer bottles and shot glasses. The radio is playing a Tommy Dorsey song.

Patsy: (clearly annoyed)
Christ be to God! I keep getting the worse fuckin hands. I can't get a break

(he throws his cards on the table in disgust)

Georgie:
Can I ask you guys something? Why did Tony get so pissed because I brought that singing Fish in here last week?

(Silvio and Paulie look at each other)

Silvio:
The big man has been under a lot of pressure lately. Sometimes he acts before he thinks you know and little things might set him off.. So are you in this hand Georgie or are you gonna bitch and moan about the fucking lump on your head. Be glad it wasn't the telephone again.

(Paulie and Patsy laugh)

Georgie:
I'm in..I'm in. I bet 20.

(throws money in the pot)

The Tommy Dorsey song ends and Bobby Darin's Mack the Knife begins to play.

Paulie:
I see you and raise you 50 Georgie. (lays cards on the table) Read em and weep girls. Full boat, queens high.

Silvio: (pissed off)
You skunk haired motherfucker. This fucking straights the best hand I've had all fucking night and you draw a boat. (throws cards on the table) That's it for me fellas. I gotta get going. Don't forget about tonight Paulie. ( puts on jacket and leaves)

Paulie:
I won't. I'll see you then. What about you two? Are you done too?

Patsy:
Yeah. I've given you enough of my money for one evening. You should go home and get some rest too.

Paulie:
I am, I am. But first I'm gonna go pay Chris another surprise visit. (Looks over at Georgie) what about you Frankenstein? Are you done too?

Georgie:
Yeah I'm done. I'll see you later.

(gets up from table and also leaves)

Georgie and Patsy leave out the door together

Paulie:
Goodnight fellas. ( Paulie begins to count out his winnings while singing along to the song)..

Fade out

Scene 8

Fade in.

Interior, night. Meadow is sitting inside a half- empty bar. She is sitting alone and has a drink in front of her. She is dressed for a night out. She looks depressed. She mixes her drink occasionally and sips it. A strikingly handsome young man walks up to her and sits down. She rolls her eyes.

Meadow: (under her breath)
Oh, god. Every time.

(she takes a sip)

Young Man:
Hi.

Meadow: (forcing a smile)
Hi...

(she turns away, gets up and sits in a booth several feet away. After a few seconds the young man gets up and goes over to the booth. He stands and looks at Meadow.)

Young Man:
You know that was rude of you.

Meadow: (sarcastically)
Was it? Hmmmm.

Young Man:
Yes, it was. If you wanted to be left alone you should has just said excuse me. Since you took off so fast some guys might get the impression that you want then to follow you over here. Thereby making the situation worse.

Meadow:
Like you? I gave you the wrong impression. So you followed me over here?

Young Man:
Yes.

Meadow:
Well then,( she gets up) Excuse me.

(She walks to the other end of the bar and sits in the first booth nearest the door. The Young man is standing in the back smiling. He walks over to Meadow again.)

Young Man:
Can I see some ID please?

Meadow:
Oh God. Are you a cop?

Young Man:
No, I'm just making sure their aren't any underage drinkers in this establishment. (his hand is out)

Meadow: (rummages thru her purse and produces ID)
Here.

(the young man scans it and gives it back to her)

Young Man:
Thank you. That wasn't so hard was it now?

Meadow:
Since your standing here, get me another Cosmopolitan will you.

(she smiles intently)

Young Man: (he leans in)
First, I'm not the bartender. Secondly, you watch to much Sex and the City. Drink some scotch for a change.

(The young man walks away and sits back at the bar. He strikes up some conversation with the bartender. Meadow gets up and walks to the bar near them)

Meadow: (putting empty glass on the bar)
Another Cosmo please. ( she stares at the Young Man)

Young Man: (to himself, easily heard by Meadow)
That's a shame.

(he smiles coyly and rubs his hand on his forehead)

Meadow:
Why don't you keep your opinion to yourself. No one cares what a bouncer thinks. Go guard the ice machine.

Young Man:
I'm not the bouncer. The ice machine is behind the bar so it's pretty safe.

Meadow: (gets drink)
Thank you.

(she walks back to her booth.)

Bartender: (to the young man)
Dat'sa spicy meatball!

(the young man gets up and goes back over to Meadow.)

Young Man:
Hey I'm Tommy.
(he puts his hand out)

Meadow: (she shakes it)
How nice.

Tommy: (pleasantly frustrated)
May I ask your name?

Meadow:
You may.

Tommy: (he bites his lip)
Your name is?

Meadow: (slurps drink)
Meadow.

Tommy:
May I sit down with you, Meadow?

Meadow:
No. (the young man sits down) You don't have much respect for women do you?

Tommy:
I have plenty of respect for women. As well as anybody.

Meadow:
Then why don't you leave me alone. Therefore respecting my wishes.

Tommy:
Is your dad Tony Soprano?

Meadow: (silent)
Who do you care who my is dad? What kind of question is that anyway?

Tommy:
It's a perfect sociological question.

Meadow:
Asking whether my father is a reputed crime figure?

Tommy: (He nods)
Yup.

Meadow: (She hesitates)
Yes, he's my dad. Happy now?

Tommy:
Yea I am as a matter of fact, cause you know my dad is Tommy Caprio.

Meadow:
Who?

Tommy:
My dad is in jail for murder. He was in the mob. Before he went to jail he gave me this bar. Told me to keep my nose clean.

Meadow:
Sorry.

Tommy:
I'm ok. Are you meeting someone here?

Meadow:
No I'm just here to relax and just be by myself.

Tommy:
Oh, ok. Then enjoy yourself here tonight.

(he gets up and heads back over to the bar.)

(Meadow gets up and approaches him)

Meadow:
Tom, do you like to shop?

Fade out

Scene 9

Fade in.

Day, exterior. Tony and Carmela are pulling into a parking lot. They get out and walk into a TARGET retail outlet store.

Tony:
What the fuck are we doing here?

Carm:
Say it louder next time. I don't think everyone heard your rotten mouth. Go get a cart please.

(Tony grabs a cart)

Carm:
I'm trying to cut on expenses that's all. Besides this place has a lot of good stuff.

Tony:
Yeah, like what?

Carm:
Anthony, Jr. needs a new computer desk. I say a picture of a nice one in a circular that came in the mail.

Tony:
Why can't we go down to Gaetano's Furniture? He'll custom make us one out of oak. Not this cheap cardboard shit.

Carm:
No. I want to get something today. I'm not waiting. If you're bored go walk around. You may see something you like.

Tony: (leaving Carms side)
Hardly.

(Tony walks thru the store and eventually makes his way over the power tools. He looks over some of the wrenches and drills.)

(Cut back to Carmela, being helped by a sales associate)

Carm:
I like this one. It has the hideaway keyboard thing.

Salesman:
Yes, it's nice. I have one similar to this at home.

Carm:
Really?

(we cut back to Tony, he is in the toy section now, he looking at the nerf footballs. He puts one down and goes into the next isle. He comes up to the board games. The sliding hockey player game catches his attention. He looks at it and smiles. He picks it up and takes it with him. We cut back to Carmela)

Salesman:
This will be up at the front waiting for pick up here is your ticket.

Carm:
Ok, so you guys will ring it up and I'll pay over there?

Salesman:
Yep.

Carm:
Great, thanks.

Salesman:
Your welcome.

Carm: (looking for Tony)
Tony!! (sighs) Where is that man?

(Tony comes up from her side carrying the game)

Carm:
What's this?

Tony:
It's a hockey board game. I use to have one when I was growing up. I played all the time.

Carm:
You're buying another one now?

Tony:
Yea, maybe I could get AJ to play with me.

Carm:
Wouldn't that be great.

(they walk towards check out)

Fade out.

Scene 10

Fade in.

Night Interior. You see a woman, late 30-something's, long dark curly brown hair, brown eyes concentrating on the open "books" on the desk in a not-so-well lit office. There is music coming from a radio behind her. Rock n' roll, of course, but turned down low so she can hear the boss, if he decides to show up tonight. This is the third night in a row he hasn't been there. She is starting to get very worried. The rest of the business is dark. From the outside it looks like no one is there. A black Caddy rolls silently up to park directly across the street from the business. The headlights on the Caddy are off. Inside the Caddy are a black leather-clad, pony-tailed Furio and a "wannabe" soldier he is training.

Wannabe:
Is this it? Is this the place?

(Furio shoots him a look of disgust, not believing he is even in the same car with this moron. His over-enthusiasm has Furio very cautious.)

Furio:
I'm-a be right back. You stay put. I see one-a hair on you head-a an' I'm-a shoot it off."

Wannabe: (leaning back in the seat, warily he nods his head)
Yeah, you want me to stay put.

(Furio looks at him in disgust and exits the Caddy. He silently darts across the street to the small shop. He tries the front door. Locked at no surprise to him, and notices the alarm system all around the windows. Silently he moves down the back ally to the hidden rear entrance. He quietly turns the handle and finds it locked.)

(Cut to the woman at the desk. Her eyes are getting very tired from looking at numbers all night. She starts to half nod-off with her head in her hand. Her pencil rolls off the books and clatters on the floor, rolling under the desk. This startles the woman.)

Woman:
Shit! Scared me half to death.

(She crawls under the desk to find the pencil when a shot rings out. This makes the woman jump up under the desk and hit her head hard. Not knowing what the hell is going on, she grabs the .38 the is hidden under that same desk. She scrambles out from under the desk and aims the gun at the doorway not knowing what to expect.)

Woman:
Fuck! Thanks a lot Frank for leaving me here all alone!

(Cut back to Furio standing straight and aiming his gun at the door handle. In one shot the door handle flies off and Furio kicks in the door. He immediately spots the low light of the back office and pounces for it. Just as he enters the doorway, gun aimed straight out at the person who is talking to themselves, he is startled to see a woman aiming a gun straight at him.)

Woman:
Who the fuck are you?

Furio:
Why don' you put the peestol down, eh?

Woman:
Tell me who the fuck you are. I ain't puttin' this "peestol" down until you do!

Furio:
Where ees Frank?

Woman:
I don't know where Frank is.

Furio: (gripping his pistol tighter)
I don' believe you.

(The woman cocks the trigger of her pistol)

Woman:
I could give a fuck what you think, ponytail! He hasn't been in for three days.

Furio:
Hey now, ok. Less be cool. I'm-a believe you. I don' theenk Frank ees here. Come on now. I putta my peestol down now. Make you feel safe ok?

(He holsters his gun and takes a step back. Her arms are getting tired from holding the heavy .38 and they start to tremble a bit. Furio sees his chance and lunges forward, knocks her arms to the side which sends the gun flying out of her hands. It lands on the floor and discharges a shot.)

(Cut the the wannabe in the caddy. He has fallen asleep but wakes with a jump as he hears the shot ring out. He starts to open the door, but remembers Furio's very distinct threat about leaving the car. He sighs heavily at his dilemma, but chooses to follow instructions. He slumps back into the corner of the seat and closes his eyes.)

(Cut back the Furio and the woman. Startled they both stare at the gun for a second. Furio recovers first. He grabs her wrist, pulling it behind her back and thrusting her ample chest up to his.)

Furio:
You surprise. I no like surprises. I expect Frank tonight. But, I say you a much better sight.

(He smiles wolfishly)

Woman: (panting with a mixture of fright and horniness from being so close to him)
What makes you think I'd want you, eh, garlicbread?

Furio: (looking down at the front of her blouse at the obvious evidence of her arousal)
You-a wanna. You like-a me. I know, baby.

Woman: (following Furio's gaze down, noticing his bulging black leather pants)
Don't flatter yourself, Mr. Rock Star.

Furio:
You like-a my pants, eh? You like-a what you see.

Woman: (voice trembling slightly)
Clean the olive oil out of your ears, Guido. I didn't say that.

Furio:
No, baby. I tink you-a talk too much.

(Furio bends down to kiss her passionately. He bends her over the desk, shoving the books and the papers to the floor. His hands are all over her. She kisses him back with equal passion as she removes his shirt and goes for his pants. As the camera pulls back you see the woman's breasts exposed. Furio's bare backside faces the camera as he rhythmically and passionately makes love to the woman. Her moans fill the room.)

(Cut back to the interior of the caddy. The wannabe is fast asleep as the radio plays "She was hot" by The Rolling Stones.)

Scene 11

Fade in.

Interior of a shopping mall. Camera pans across to a table at the food court. Meadow and Tommy are sitting and sharing a slice of pepperoni pizza. There are several shopping bags at their feet.

Meadow:
So then my Aunt Janice says to my mom, "Big deal, you took away her Discover card." (laughs) And my mom tells her "Mind your fucking business and keep your mouth shut when it comes to my kids." (laughs again)

Tommy: (smiling)
Your mom sounds like she is pretty protective of you and your brother.

Meadow:
Yeah, we are her little angels (sarcastically). But sometimes she can be such a pain. You would think that she would have her own life but instead she is always nagging me. She expects me to be the perfect daughter, the perfect student, a perfect little member of society. Well, I have a newsflash for her, I am far from fucking perfect. And I am tired of her bullshit expectations.

Tommy:
Sensitive subject for you?

Meadow: (rolling her eyes)
What do you think?

Tommy:
I think she just wants what's best for you.

Meadow:
Do you honestly think that what my father does and how he makes a living is what's best for me? I mean, Jesus, do you really think she understands how other people treat me because of who my family is?

Tommy:
I am sure she does. Don't you think she has experienced it herself.

Meadow:
What do you know?

Tommy:
More than you think.

Meadow: (visibly irritated)
Can we talk about something else?

Tommy:
No. (leaning toward Meadow, angry) Do you realize how lucky you are to have a mother that cares so much about you? Some people would give anything for that luxury.

Meadow:
Yea, well, sometimes it just drives me nuts. I just, lose it, and go crazy.

Tommy:
You need to learn to control those impulses. My dad would come home nuts. Yelling and screaming. All this bullshit about being under stress. Having to have enough money at the end of the week to keep his boss happy. Sometimes he would yell and take it out on me.

Meadow:
Did he hit you?

Tommy:
Never, he knew not to do that.

Meadow:
So how did you control being mad and pissed at him.

Tommy:
I just absorbed it. I said to myself just don't let it get to me. I channeled the abuse, I guess, into good things. I didn't want to end up like him: A miserable son of a bitch.

Meadow:
So you're happy.

Tommy:
I'm doing fine. I got the bar. I know that sounds like I got it handed to me on a silver platter. But I put a lot of work into it. I fixed it up. It wasn't always as good as it looked.

(He smiles)

Meadow:
Are you ready to jet?

Tommy:
Sure, Let's roll.

Fade out

Scene 12

Fade in.

Interior Soprano home. Tony is taking out the hockey game he bought and has a big smile on his face.

Tony: (yelling)
AJ!!!

Carm:
Do you have to yell so loud?

AJ (from upstairs)
What!

Tony:
Come down here!

Carm:
Maddon' you two!

(AJ comes down into the living room.)

Tony:
You want to play some hockey with your old man? Take your mind off the football for a while?

AJ:
Where did you get that?

Tony:
I bought it.

AJ:
Do you know how to play?

Tony:
What do you think? I grew up on this. We didn't have any of that video game and internet stuff.

AJ:
Oh. I'll play some I guess

Tony:
Good, sit. What team you want to be?

AJ:
Rangers

Tony:
Awright, I'm the Devils.

(they begin to play, and the phone rings)

Carm: (Answering the phone)
Hello? Yes, hold on. (to Tony) It's for you.

Tony:
Time out. (he stops playing the game and gets the phone) Hello? Whatsa madder? What's wrong. Is he ok? Shit!! Yea, ok I'm coming down right. (he hangs up) Jesus Christ!!

Carm:
What's wrong, now?

Tony:
It's Uncle Joon. He's coughing up blood. Bobby drove him down to the hospital. He's making a fit down there. I got to go calm him down.

Carm:
That man.

Tony: (to AJ)
I gotta go. We'll play when I get back it's not late, ok?

AJ:
OK.

Fade out.

Scene 12

Fade in.

Interior. Emergency room of the hospital. Uncle Joon is sitting on a stretcher. Tubes and medical equpimnet surround him. Bobby Bacala is standing next to him. Enter Tony.

Tony: (to Joon)
You awright?

Uncle Junior:
I'm ok. I justwant to get the fuck out of here before they bring some Jew in to look at me again.

Tony:
Just relax. (to Bacala) What happened?

Bacala:
He just got up from his nap. I fixed him some Escarole soup, with the small meatballs and everything. He started hacking before he could eat it. Then blood was coming out.

Tony:
OK. Who did you talk too?

Uncle Junior:
The Doctor. He gave me some bullshit answer about ulcers bursting. Why the fuck would I have ulcers. I'm a calm person.

(Bacala and Tony both stare at each other)

Tony:
Whatever you think. Maybe your other problem is causing this.

Uncle Junior:
Oh, Christ Tony, I don't know what's going on down there. Some days I could give a fuck if I was gonna die or not.

Bacala:
Hey, don't say that.

Uncle Junior:
I just want to go home. Get this shit off me. (finagles tubes)

Tony:
Whoa, calm down. We ain't leaving until they say. I'm not gonna have you die on the way home.

Uncle Junior: (in disgust)
Fuck!

Fade out.

Scene 13

Fade in.

Night, interior of the Bada Bing. Tony, Silvio, Paulie, Christopher, and Geo the Mason are all at the bar drinking.

Silvio:
Hey Tone, How's Jr.?

Tony:
He's ok. Pain in the ass that he is. I don't understand why some people just don't die. They gotta drag it out, and piss people off on the way out.

(Paulie and Chris laugh)

Silvio:
We all got to put up wit it.

Paulie:
Shit, Tone, I hope my Ma doesn't turn out like this. I got enough problems. Tony:
Better hope she doesn't. You put her in that home?

Paulie:
Yeah, she's loving it there.

Chris:
Why don't you get yourself a room over there too?

Paulie:
Fuck you.

(Tony and Silvio laugh)

Geo:
Shit, I need some of this.(motions to the stripper gyrating on stage in front of him.) Yea, some titty tasting feel about right.

Chris:
Then go get it.

Silvio:
These are my bitches. It's gonna cost you. Now Chantell here is a fairly new. So she got some low mileage. You get an hour in the back for 500.

Geo Shit pal, I'll take that deal.

Tony:
What a gyp.

(they laugh)

Silvio: (To chantell)
Get off the stage and get your ass over here.

(she walks around)

Geo:
How ya doin honey? I need your help in the other room.

Silvio:
You go help this prick here. Whatever he wants.

Chantell:
Ok.(she smiles)

(Chantell and geo walk away to another room)

Paulie:
Not a bad business to have, piasan

Silvio:
It pays the mortgage.

Tony:
Yea (he puffs his cigar)

Paulie Who you gonna put over on Ralphies crew?

Tony:
Not sure yet. Slim pickings this time around again. You worry about yourself.

Paulie: (Takes a swig of his drink)
Aw right, I'm outta here, gotta visit Ma.

Tony:
See ya.

(Paulie leaves)

Tony:
You and him never found that Russian. Better hope to God he don't surface. I will be very upset.

Chris:
Fuck, Tony. It wasn't my fault. Paulie's got fucking problems.

Tony:
Fuck you, you were with him.

Chris:
Come, On.

Tony:
Shut the fuck up. Do not upset me tonight.

Chris:
Motherfuck!

(He gets up and leaves. Tony and Silvio get up and go into the office in the back. Tony sits down.)

Silvio:
Whatsa madder skip?

Tony:
I don't want this Russian shit happening. You keep your ears and eyes open for a while.

Silvio:
Can do.

(Tony rubs his head.)

Tony:
I'm getting a fucking headache.

Silvio:
I think I got some Tylenol in the desk.

(Tony opens the desk and looks inside)

Fade out

Scene 14

Fade in

Interior Furio's Caddy, early morning. Tony and Furio are traveling on a local road.

(James Brown's "I feel good" plays.)

Furio is smiling and tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

Tony:
Shut that fucking shit off.

(Furio looks at Tony and shuts off the Radio.)

Tony:
Why you in such a good mood?

Furio:
No reason. Feeling good.

Tony:
I'm telling you, you better stay off those fucking drugs. If I find out you're on the shit, you're done. Capice?

Furio:
I no do drugs. I get lucky. (he laughs)

Tony:
You got lucky, huh? Who was she?

Furio:
No, no. I no kiss and tell.

Tony:
Well I command you to tell me who she was.

Furio:
Some puttana I meet while making rounds.

Tony:
Oh yea, you check yourself for fleas this morning?

Furio: (confused)
No.

(Tony laughs uproariously)

Tony:
Better scrub your dick tonight pal.

Furio:
I scrub every night. My balls sparkle.

Tony:
Ok, enough about your fucking balls you faggot. I'm just breaking em(Furio pulls the caddy into the front of Barone sanitation. They exit the car)

Tony: (to Furio)
Another fucking day of work.

(They both enter the building)

Fade out.

Story by Rocco DeLaurentis, Jr.
Written by Rocco DeLaurentis, Jr.
~Co-writers~
Lanie aka c_sopranos
Kelly aka Kellykat
Ralph Hernandez aka luca_brasi1

Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4