The Sopranos - Family Values

Review By Dr. Scott

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Season Five, Episode Eleven (Episode 63 - THE TEST DREAM)

Review By Dr. Scott

I’m really, really not looking forward to writing this review.

All day long, I’ve heard more people talking about THE SOPRANOS than I have all season long. An afternoon talk show that I listen to here every day in Dallas was all over it; The friends of mine that watch the show started calling literally the second the show ended last night to get my opinion and share theirs; Someone used a plane to write the phrase "WHAT THE FUCK?!" in the sky today over the Dallas skyline.

Okay, maybe that’s not true, but the other stuff is.

I don’t know what the big deal is. It’s just that everyone saw what will probably go down in SOPRANOS history as the most debated episode ever shot for the series. You’d think something odd happened, the way people are carrying on.

I can’t really review this episode in the same manner that I’ve been reviewing the other ones. From what I can gather in listening to other people speak about how they felt about episode 63, "The Test Dream", the fans seem equally divided. They love it, they hate it; They’re furious that, two episodes away from the season finale, we got this shit, while others are falling all over themselves praising the artistry of the episode. It’s madness, I tell you! Nobody is agreeing on anything!

Least of all the things that happened in the episode. Conspiracy theorists have already sprouted up in dark, college building hallways and behind trees, whispering that the whole episode was a dream. They point to certain aspects of the show’s first 19 minutes, saying that something seems off and that it could all be apart of the dream that seems to start in Tony’s Plaza Hotel suite. They whisper that Tony will now kill Tony B. without reason, the guilt of which will send him on a downward spiral of madness and grief. They tell me about Christopher. And Adrianna.

But I ain’t buying it. These are exactly what they appear to be: bullshit conspiracy theories. What we all witnessed last night– and I think everyone will agree on this– was a deeply symbolic dream sequence bookended with "real time" events, shoved into HBO’s lineup and called an "episode". First of all, let’s take a look at the things that I think we can all agree happened within the reality of the Tony Soprano-verse.

The show’s first "bookend" gave us several scenes with Tony Blundetto. He gets paid off a bit more for his help with that whole whacking he was involved in a few episodes back by Angelo, who we see bite the bullet (or, rather, the plastic bag appetizer followed by the bullet entree– which, coincidentally, is the special at Chili’s this month; Whattaya know?) at the hands of Bill and Phil Leotardo. Obviously, Johnny Sack is cleaning house after Blundetto whacked Joey Peeps, not to mention managing to get under Blundetto’s skin by knocking off a friend of his (Angelo).

Tony, upset with his maid, goes over to Blundetto’s house to whine about his problems, but Tony B. seems a little...off. I mean, Tony brought the dude enchiladas; What more does he want? Tony S. picks up on the weirdness, but doesn’t know what to do about it. He decides he’s gonna go stay in New York City, and when he gets situated up in The Plaza that’s when the shit storm starts.

I’m not going to go scene by scene through the dream. HBO is running this episode no less than 5 times on its primary station this week, and if you have the 13,423 other HBO’s like the Doctor does, then you have plenty of time to go through that dream sequence– scene by scene and odd thing by odder thing– to your heart’s content.

Please don’t bother sending me complaints about how you didn’t understand the dream sequence. There were many, many parts where I had no idea what was going on. That was the point, people. There were things to pick up on– the horse Tony was riding was Pie-Oh-My; John Heard appeared briefly as Finn’s dad, even though he died many moons ago (John Heard’s cop character, not Finn’s dad); The whole Finn/AJ thing going on at that dinner; The idea of Tony feeling unprepared in the face of an authority figure (I dug the melting bullet shot, by the way); Annabella Sciorra’s legs in that chair– Great Googly Moogly!

But I’m not interested in interpreting this thing shot by shot like the Zapruder film. We saw what we saw, we’ll see it again, and it’s now my job to dissect the rest of the episode. After that, I’ll reveal what I thought about the show as a whole.

(And, speaking of which, for you newcomers: NO. I’M NOT THE ONE WHO GRADES THE EPISODES WITH A NUMBER. THAT IS THE WEBMASTER. QUIT EMAILING ME ABOUT IT, CORKY; I DON’T USUALLY AGREE WITH THEM, EITHER. That is all, thanks.)

The dream sequence ends with Tony trying, unsuccessfully, to whack his old gym teacher, who apparently ran lil’ Tony ragged back in the day. All through his dream, Tony is repeatedly asked: "Are you ready?" or "Are you gonna be able to do this?", and it all builds up to this final point with the coach, who tells him he’s never been "prepared".

Tony wakes up, shakes the weirdness from his head and gets a call from Christopher. Well, actually it’s the front desk calling on Chrissy’s behalf; He’s downstairs at the Plaza, and wants to speak with Tony. When he arrives, we find out that Tony B. Has whacked Bill Leotardo– something we saw him doing in the dream, with Tony saying, "I knew this was gonna happen"– and that he put Billy Leotardo in the hospital for good measure.

Tony is infuriated, Christopher bums some chocolate off him, and then Tony is left to his own devices. In the morning, he calls Carmela (this is another spot where the Conspiracy Theorists come knocking, arguing that he’s gone back to sleep and this is actually a return to the dream; Again– I don’t think so) and they talk about, well, nothing wildly important or enlightening.

I understand the anger that has been leveled at this episode. Like I mentioned before, I can see where people would feel cheated. We have but 12 episodes left in the entirety of this series for God’s sake! 12 hours to wrap up all the loose ends, see off our friends, get rid of our enemies, to make peace with these characters before we all commit group suicide because in just a short amount of time Sunday nights will again be nothing more than that night before you gotta set your alarm for work on Monday again! It’s gonna be hell, I tell you! HELL!

These people want action– not necessarily bloodshed, but action, they want drama, they want resolutions to start coming together and loose ends being tied up! I agree with them on this. I think that the show really needs to start settling itself if we’re going to get an appropriate send off to this, the best show that has ever aired on television in this– or any– country.

But do/did I hate this week’s episode? Absolutely not. Like I said, the fans are split on this one, and they will likely remain that way forever. This is the kind of episode– nay, the sort of "entertainment"– that totally polarizes people. This is the sort of thing that some people just can’t see the merits of, the kind of thing that many people can’t get behind. And, like the anger over the "waste of an episode" thing, I understand this. Why? Because I’m a fucking David Lynch fan, that’s why.

You know: David Lynch. That guy that makes those movies that make absolutely no goddamn sense and require a pound of speed and a ruler to make any sense of. There are people out there, film geeks like me, who absolutely detest Lynch and all that he stands for. Maybe you’re not a film geek, and you have no idea who I’m talking about. Lynch is the guy that directed the brilliant (in my opinion; And, might I remind you, I am a Doctor, people) MULHOLLAND DRIVE, as well as being the creator of another bizarre television experience, TWIN PEAKS. The reason I invoke the name of David Lynch is because this episode was very, very similar to the sort of films that Lynch makes: The dream/nightmare like qualities, the bizarre characters and abstract symbolism that leave many people scratching their heads. You either accept this sort of thing or you don’t, so I understand the confusion of the people who are claiming to be confused.

This must have been that "flashback" episode that we’ve been expecting all season. Frankly, while I appreciated the artistic brilliance of the dream sequence in this episode, I didn’t expect and wasn’t happy about the fact that this was the way they decided to do a flashback episode. I wanted to see these guys rocking the 80's gear: Paulie Walnuts in a Member’s Only jacket; Tony in aviator glasses. I wanted to see some of the politicking that went on before Blundetto went into jail, maybe Christopher in his early teens. But instead, this is what we were given.

Please don’t bother to write me with your overall opinion of the show. I appreciate all the emails, guys, I really do, but this is simply a case of personal taste. Nothing I say and nothing you say is gonna change either one of our minds about whether or not this was a bad episode, so let’s not try, huh?

I would be interested in hearing some of your thoughts on the symbolism within the dream sequence, though. I’m sure that many of you have your own interpretations and ideas about the jumbled images that crashed through HBO last night, and I’d like to get a taste of that. These reviews don’t leave me much space to discuss things the week after, but if any of you have a particularly good point, I’ll be more than happy to discuss it next week and give you credit where credit’s due.

Two more episodes this season, guys. Are you ready for that? I’m not.

Word.

Dr. Scott

PS: For the record, if I had to grade this episode on a number scale, I wouldn’t.

If you have comments about this review send them directly to Dr. Scott at until_dark@yahoo.com

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